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Saturday, 5 July 2014

Bucket List of Dreams.

Today was the last shift of yet another one of my colleagues - I've only in been in retail three months and I'm learning just what a huge staff turnover there is! Naturally, I'm so happy for her, she'd been in the store for far too long and she's got a job doing something she loves. Another one of my friends has just got back from an amazing trip to Argentina - she literally just moved out there for three months to learn Spanish. I really admire her for it, to have the courage to move across the world to somewhere completely unknown. Equally, I'm jealous - she had the most incredible experience. While I'm working as a shop floor girl waiting for uni to start again in September, I feel as if I'm not doing much. I'm coming down with serious Wanderlust. So I thought I'd share my 'Life Bucket List' as a way of rejuvenating myself after a tough day at work.

1. Travel.

Such a cliché, I know. But it's unusual to be against visiting the world's most beautiful landscapes and experiencing different cultures. My biggest regret is not taking a gap year and doing the stereotypical trip round the world - it would have been good for me. But all is not lost! I'm only 19. My plan is to travel extensively during summer breaks, maybe even apply for a semester abroad when I finally get back to uni. I'm desperate to explore Europe, to get to know Paris, Vienna, and Berlin in particular. A roadtrip around the US would be the stuff of dreams.

2. Study English Literature at Degree Level.

Luckily for me, this is pretty much a given. Unless I have a complete change of heart before September 22nd! Seeing as I'm counting down the days till I leave, this isn't likely to happen. I'm so excited just to study Literature again. To spend my days reading and analysing texts in a little coffee shop - my absolute favourite place to do my academic work if only for the source of caffeine. Literature was my first love, I can't wait to spend three years devoting my life to it. 

3. Turn my Passion into a Career. 

Personally, I consider myself a writer but one of my major life goals is to transform this into a professional career. So I can support myself doing what I love. I find the writing deeply therapeutic and inspiring which is why I want to devote my life to it. Journalists have the luxury and freedom to experiment with their style, to freelance here and there before deciding on a definite career path... if they ever even choose just one. In a dream world, I'd be writing a column for 'The Guardian' while also contributing to my favourite fashion magazines. I'm as addicted to current affairs as I am to following fashion. It would be amazing to pursue a career that included both.

4. Live the Domestic Dream.

Like many people do, I went through a stage of thinking I'd never be a 'marriage and kids' kind of girl. When I was 16 and trying to be rebellious and different, I always imagined my future revolving around a successful career based in New York. But, working in a store where seemingly all our customers have children (mostly sweet and well-behaved) has made me realise that I want that too someday. I can't help getting seriously broody when I'm surrounded by babies for eight hours at a time! The dream of having the white picket fence home with children running round seems too hard to resist. 

5. Achieve Balance.

I don't think I'm alone in this one. I always strive for perfection in every aspect of my life and it's just not possible. I can't put all my time and energy into my relationship without neglecting this blog. Meanwhile, I can't spend the majority of time at work without it affecting my relationship. There's not enough hours in the day to excel in all the areas I want to succeed in. For instance, my reading has been suffering so much lately because of the hours I've been working. I find it hard to concentrate when I'm so mentally drained from my day. Sometimes slobbing out in front of 'Sex and the City' reruns is much more appealing. At the same time, I beat myself up about not keeping up with my book - I feel like it should be at the top of my agenda. But life gets in the way sometimes. Come September when I'm in a new city and things are a bit more chilled, I'll definitely make the effort to catch up on lost time. Sometimes I find it hard to find this perspective, I just want to be on top of everything when realistically, that's just not going to happen. When I find balance in my life, I know I'll be a lot more relaxed and probably a lot happier. 

I know that life is unpredictable and that people and circumstances change, but if I was able to achieve just a couple of these goals then I would consider myself very fulfilled. I thrive when I'm organised and when I have a clear goal of what I want to achieve in mind. That's why I find writing little lists of dreams so useful - these 'dreams' may seem far off now but its not necessarily a bad thing having something to aspire to. If I keep these in mind, who knows - maybe I could become a well-travelled professional writer with an English Literature degree who balances a family life and has somehow managed to achieve a work/family balance! Anything is possible.

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